I dunno, I see a lot of pessimism here. My husband agrees with yall. Me? ray of goddamn sunshine often. Ive seen bottom, I could even go back there an be alright.

I used to sooth myself as a teen, "he cant kill me, its illegal, and he cant kill me" because my gaurdian was so terrifingly abusive. So, the rest of life has all been sunshine compared to that. Even when I was so poor I hadnt had food in days, even when I was taking cig butts out of ashtrays and sleeping on park benches. Everything aweful thing, was better than the house I grew up in. Hell, even my DV relationship, (lmao cant believe imma say this) but that was better than what I grew up in.

My positive outlook carries me very far. To see the small joys even in the dark, carries me. My partner just worries to death about literally everything, like one thing stresses him out, Imma hear about every possible wrong thing that could go wrong and watch him spiral into the anxiety. I support him through it because it is hard to live this way, and he tries to control it, but often its not in his control where his mind leads. But I am very greatful I dont have this trait.