SarahValentine comments on This is a trap

[–] SarahValentine@pawb.social 1 point 3 months ago (5 children)

Literally everyone has some kind of shitty trauma in their past. If someone refuse to date anyone who speaks about theirs, they're a shitty human being. It's not supportive to do that to people, and if she gave a shit about honesty she would be up front about her hangups instead of nodding and smiling then dumping someone. That behavior reflects a lack of empathy, which is a crucial trait for being actually supportive and honest.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago* (4 children)

No one is entitled to a relationship. They are owed respect and kindness.

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[–] SarahValentine@pawb.social 1 point 3 months ago (3 children)

No one is entitled to a relationship.

I didn't say anyone was.

They are owed respect and kindness.

Those are the very things the lady in this situation failed to show. If someone having trauma in their past and so much as speaking about it is enough to make her not want to date them, and she just lets them go on and on about it like she's their therapist only to dump them after, that's not respectful or kind at all. That's a sign of someone addicted to having a steady stream of people to date and reject for petty reasons.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 months ago (2 children)

She listened and was super supportive. Helped me a lot talking with her about it. But she also said, right after, that she could not date me anymore. Got the ambivalent feeling sharing had helped me move on from some things, but also ruined our chances somehow. I don’t regret it. Just how it is.

The OP commenter said she listened and was super supportive. That she helped him move on from some of those traumas. That he doesn't regret talking to her.

She didn't owe him a relationship. She did extend kindness and an open ear.

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[–] SarahValentine@pawb.social -1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 child)

Christ, the gymnastics you're going through to exonerate her of any responsibility to act like a decent human being, to maybe avoid taking a massive shit on someone else's feelings.

Twisting this to make her out to be some kind of good person for this is outright disgusting. I hope, for the good of humanity, that you don't date.

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 point 3 months ago

I'm married, but thanks.

No one is owed a relationship. Not even when they have trauma.

She certainly could have handled it differently, but openly listening and being supportive is not something bad people do.

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