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Me_irl (discuss.online)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/me_irl@lemmy.world
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[–] 31 points 3 months ago (9 children)

The important thing about not having children is that any reason is all the reason that is needed. I've heard so many people want an explenation, instead of just accepting that to some people, children just straight up suck.

My life would also get infinitely worse by having children, because how I wanna live my life, and what I dream of, is completely incompatible with taking care of someone.

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  • [–] 17 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    I have kids, but I don't understand how some people feel like it's an obligation to have them.

    Nobody should feel obligated to do so. It's damn hard to do more or less properly and requires quite a bit of sacrifice.

    Oh, and if society as a whole complains about a low birth rate, maybe let's focus more on the hardships the new generations have to face: hard to find and keep a job, unfair pay, costly rent, and the nearly impossible cost of homeownership.

    Let's tackle those and see what happens instead of pressuring people into parenthood.

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  • [–] 8 points 3 months ago

    I can't speak for everywhere, but in my community and among my family members, the number one reason they want everyone to have kids is religion. Their god(s) tell them to have children, and so they do (my FIL has five!!!) They see fecundity as godliness, and so at best they see childless adults as confused or misguided, and at worst they see them as heathens and heretics. Most of my family are good people and understand the value of self-determination, even if they don't understand my reasons. But there are outliers; someone once told me that they were glad I wasn't having more children because I live a "pagan" life and my children would be punished by god unless I raised them into the church... No clue why they thought I was pagan, as I've always been clear about my personal dismissal of religion.

    Wild.

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  • [–] 7 points 3 months ago

    I have one kid, and everyone asks when Im having another. Some people just expect you to keep breeding.

    For me the one kid is fine. Two would be a substantial downgrade in quality of life for my wife and I AND our kid. Three is right out.

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  • [–] 13 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    Plenty of people just don't want kids, but they feel pressured to come up with reasons such as money, the environment, or whatever else, because people can't accept "I don't wanna" as a reason

    I have lost count of the number of times I've heard "that's selfish" when I say that I am child-free

    Always from fucking morons.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    If they are very insistent and won't keep bugging me with such a (i feel) personal question, I feel that I am right in giving them too much information.

    "We aren't having kids because I keep busting on her tits and face" something like that.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago

    I'm sterile and so is my partner

    I've had plenty of people get nasty and say "what would you do if she got pregnant?"

    I always respond "oh, that's not possible, especially the way we do it" and see how long it takes to click

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  • [–] 5 points 3 months ago

    I have kids and absolutely love it. In fact there's not much that my kids haven't made better. Of course there's day where I wanna smash my head against a brick, but most days are wonderful.

    I've never heard someone say they don't want kids and thought really anything of it. If someone doesn't want kids that's nobodies business but their own and I think for most people it makes sense to not. They're a lot of responsibility, they cost a lot of money, and take up all your time. It just so happens that if I had no responsibilities, nothing but free time and more money I'd be shooting up and sleeping in a ditch somewhere.

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