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It gives real good dads a bad name (discuss.online)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/whitepeopletwitter@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 7 points 3 months ago (9 children)

Yes, but also emotional manipulation has a much lower likelihood of putting you in the hospital. Not zero, but much lower.

Social services effectively cares about getting kids to adulthood. Physical violence is the bigger obstacle to achieving that goal.

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  • [–] 9 points 3 months ago (8 children)

    Depends on the country maybe?

    Children have the right to care, security, and a good upbringing. Children shall be treated with respect for their person and individuality and shall not be subjected to corporal punishment or other abusive treatment

    is the law of parenting in Sweden

    In all matters concerning children, the child’s best interests must be the primary consideration. When assessing the child’s best interests, the child’s views must be taken into account. If a decision or other measure concerns care or treatment for a child, the child’s best interests must be the deciding factor

    regarding what social services are bound by law to do

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  • [–] 9 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    Hitting your children is legal in all 50 United States.

    https://legallyexplained.com/is-it-legal-to-spank-your-child-in-the-us/

    My parents will never face justice for hitting my brothers and I. Abuse is legal and normalized here.

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  • [–] 8 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    Yes, it's insane. I know it's legal to hit your children i other parts of Europe as well, like France. Just not "too much or too hard" because that would be assault..

    Sweden abolished corporal punishment in schools 1958 and at home 1979(!)

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    i was beat regularly with belt and hangers. They did it while I was kneeling on concrete so every hit dug into it my knees. My knees are still scared from it. I got hit so often by so many ppl that it lost effect so they called me "iron butt" in the old language. I was more annoyed by waiting for it be over than the pain itself.

    Crazy part is I actually had it good. My class mates had it way worse. Apparently they got hit with small whips and one with an extension cord if I over heard correctly.

    I think about it all the time if the pain did anything to correct my behavior. I dont really think it did. It did however teach me that pain is temporary.

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  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago

    Horrible! How do you feel towards the adults who abused you?

    One of my parents was beaten as well but broke the chain and never laid a hand on me. I'm blessed to live in one of few countries where assaulting your kids is actually seen as assault and very frowned upon. If you beat your children you're a failure of a parent.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    Yeah, and that system would still favor the emotionally abusive parent over the physically abusive one. Corporal punishment is the one with a name put to it, it'll be focused on more.

    "The child's best interest" section might name the child in that decision loop, but their opinion will still be weighted as though they're a child and can't make an informed decision about their care.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    No, that's not how the law works. There's a lot of work material before the law is decided that's used as guidance as well as predecents in courts and other material. All aspects are of equal value no matter how they're named.

    Yeah, it gives the children an opportunity to voice their own opinion and it will be given weight in any decisions made by social services. Their opinion is not just brushed off because they're a child, it has to be taken into account.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    I understand that you better understand how the law works. I'm saying that putting more red tape or better definitions on a thing isn't going to change that direct, immediate "this can kill you right now" actions are taken more seriously in all cases than "this will fuck up your world view and might become a physical threat to you at some point" ones.

    The guy who preferred his physically abusive dad over his emotionally abusive mom is going to end up going with the mom in most cases.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 months ago

    I hear what you are saying and I understand, but my point is the law makes no differences between abuses (in Sweden at least) and our social services exercises their power only as stipulated by the law. Therefore both kinds of abuses are equally treated.

    But considering different cases:

    • a child being subjected to corporal punishment at home will be handled in the same fashion as one being subjected to other abusive treatment

    However

    • a child coming in to the hospital beaten to pulp will probably immediately be separated from their parents, a child seeking mental care would probably not

    Which is what you're thinking of maybe?

    Also with this said, child services in Sweden from time to time fucks up and return children to their abusive parents, resulting in their mistreatment and deaths. There has been at least three cases over the last few years which has shocked the population

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