Im so sorry. I feel this too. I was always barked at sarcastically whenever I wanted anything for myself that would be nicer or make things easier, told ‘thats stupid’ or ‘it’s a waste’. Yet, this didn’t apply to my mother, she always had the nice things she wanted. If you tell this kind of story to a normal person, they think you’re being dramatic. But unless you’ve lived it, as a child you are constantly ground down every day, until you have no self worth, it won’t make sense.

So I’m grateful you share your stories, because it makes the world make sense. Makes me feel less alone in my experiences. And hooray for extra luggage, and finding little wins to escape the consequences of the drama.

It's similar with me but not with luggage, the hill I fought everyone on was about food. When I book a holiday I expect to eat out for pretty much every single meal, I anticipate and expect to be spending extra money on it and I budget for that extra in the holiday. When I holiday I am really looking to go exploring and experience food in a different place lol. Otherwise I get stuck in these self catering nightmares where it's just relocating home base and cooking dinner and lunches the whole time and that's no damn holiday for me. I'm dead clear on it when discussing the holiday initially, but there's always been a blow up because someone wants a "home cooked meal" and I'm like "well go home then." When I was younger and used to go camping, that's different. Now I'm older I want my little luxuries damn it!

I'm a chronic overpacker so I need generous baggage allowances. For my last trip I had 32kg allowance! And you better believe I used it, I don't let precious allowance go to waste. Left some spare kg's on the way there and new purchases filled up the rest for the way back.

I also found this nifty gadget on Amazon to weigh your bag by trying a strap around the handle and lifting, so I know exactly the weight before going to the airport. Honestly it is a game changer. Baggage stress eliminated.

The older I've gotten the more it's worth it to have that peace of mind to save time and stress. It was always about being stingy with my parents (for diabolical reasons I did not find out until my late teens) and much of my extended family but I have to ask if the arguments, anxiety, etc. were worth the money saved. It's meant to be a holiday.

I make it a policy now to have enough luggage for the reasons you mentioned, and also book flights at reasonable times - no more red-eyes to save money and throw off my sleep cycle.

Welcome back btw 🤗