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Mrrrp (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/cat@lemmy.world
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[+] -18 points 4 months ago* (12 children)

I'm guessing your parents didn't adopt you as an adult. Nevertheless I'm sick of this pet parent thing .I have a human child and when we were recently visiting my wife's brother, who has 2 lovely cats, he couldn't stop comparing his cats with our kid. Like when we were talking about how our kid is like this or like that, he would always reply "yes I totally understand, my cat is the same way!". It's so obnoxious. Like I'm super happy you love your cat but it's really not the same! He even dared to say we had it easy because he and his girlfriend were both working full time while my wife currently does not work, so we must have an easier time caring for our newborn baby than they have caring for their two adult ass cats who sleep 16 hours a day! It's insane. I'm going insane! It's not the same!

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  • [–] 19 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)

    This sounds like a conversation you should be having with your brother-in-law.

    I am fully aware that my cats require far fewer resources than my stepsons, but that doesn't prevent me from counting them as a valuable part of the family unit.

    Also, we adopted all of our cats as very young kittens.

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  • [+] -12 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    I'm totally okay with counting them as part of the family as stated in my first comment. I had cats myself from 9 to 23. Thinking of getting cats again in the future. It's strictly the parent label that irks me the wrong way.

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  • [–] 13 points 4 months ago* (2 children)

    Okay I'm going to make allowance for the fact that of course you are insane from the intense responsibility of having a tiny human who's completely dependent on your wife and you 24/7.

    Been there, and yes it's different from a cat or even a kitten. Mostly scarier.

    For instance a cat's fur and claws mean a plastic bag on their face won't kill them. And they might get into trouble climbing all over the house at night but if they fall, or you drop them, they'll land on their feet.

    Try to breathe, and remember, the nights may last forever but the weeks fly by.

    Appreciate the intensity of your love, but don't begrudge your wife's brother's love for his cats.

    The time will come when your kid becomes an adult and you can relax a little bit. And unless you really fucked it up, you'll still be their parents, bound for life by love.

    Your wife's brother, who is just trying (failing but trying) to relate, will at some point be grieving the death of those cats, and I hope you'll do a better job of understanding his feelings than he is of yours.

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Honestly a lot of that comparison from my wife's brother would be okay. But once he claimed we had an easier time then him, I actually got a bit offended and this statement from him has since infested my mind for months. But as others have already said this is probably not the right place to post this drama and I guess they're right. Thanks for your message.

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    why do you care? genuine question. ask it of yourself and mull over what the answer says about you. if you can't come up with one, i recommend talking to a professional.

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  • [+] -12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

    I would define being a parent as either having adopted a human being or having conceived a human being. Why do I care? I think words should have a useful meaning. If we broaden it to anyone who has a pet then we would require a new word for those that have a human child because in some cases that distinction is important because it is truly fundamentally different in several ways. If someone organized a local meetup group for new parents it should be understood that people who have recently adopted a cat would not be welcome. If the word parent is broadened in this way what would we then have to call that group, a "new human parent group"?

    I can ask you: what are you missing in the term "cat owner" that you feel you need to use "cat parent" instead?

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  • [–] 12 points 4 months ago

    No one here is using the word parent alone. In the top post they specifically say cat parent. Do you really think that will confuse people? I think you are angry due to personal reasons and are taking it out with people that used the word in a pretty clear way.

    No one is broadening anything. People don't say "I have two kids" and then show you cats, they say "I have two cats, they are my lovely kids!". It's not confusing.

    If you are annoyed that your family members compare your kid with their cat, as another user told you that's a conversation between you and them, that isn't happening here, there's no need to introduce drama where there's none.

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