So someone who is abused is the real aggressor if they finally end the abuse by ending the abuser? I certainly don't think so.

The fault is society for allowing the situation to get to that point. Desperate people do desperate things. Its foolish and cruel to look down on your pedestal and declare life is black and white and a person who takes a life never has a reason.

There are times when it is horrible but not acknowledging the complexity is exactly how you get people who look the other way when the killing is obscure in a system of policies. Say how we kill thousands a year through poverty or homelessness. Those deaths are not seen as horrible because it's slow and painful, instead of quick and painful. Maybe you will come back and say you don't feel this way but such quick snap judgment without analysis is exactly how we get here.