I can do that without AI, but claim it's AI so I can earn millions!!!

--Lua
function answerStupidClient()
    local answers = {"Piss off, idiot.", 
        "That's the worst thing I've had the displeasure of reading all week.", 
        "Are you for real with this?", 
        "Now that's a winning igNobel right there!", 
        "Have you tried turning your brain off and on again?",
        "Please tell me you're intoxicated, I refuse to believe this came from someone in sound mind."}
    local which = math.random(1,#answers)
    return answers[which]