The only times I enjoyed it involved lots of really fun party drugs and lots of really fun parties.

I'm probably lucky I got it all out of my system when I did tbh, I doubt the good clean party drugs are as cheap, high quality and plentiful as they once were, and I was really hot back then with the spare cash for cool clothes and regular benders.

I've been back to basically being the human equivilent of an indoor cat again for a good long while now though and sometimes writing things on the internet with/to/for the gay nerds who live in my phone, is perfectly valid people-ing imo.