496
Who's your planner? (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago by to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world
76 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

original: https://bsky.app/profile/the1janitor.bsky.social/post/3mmupwszki22p

Blue sky post reading "life pro tip: if you like parties or social gatherings or game nights or just seeing your friends. be the planner, book the airbnb, get the reservation. plan the hang out. do it yourself, no one else is going to"
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 30 points 5 months ago (10 children)

There's a reason I stopped hosting gatherings and planning events.

I used to live within 20 minutes by car, bus, or train to every single one of my friends. Now the closest one is 35 minutes away. Many of them are parents now, some have second jobs.

Planning changed from a "let's hang next Friday" to a week-long process of comparing availabilities (usually received after individually bugging people) which results in a planned night 1-2 months out. And often times, something comes up and we have to start over.

I got frustrated with it and started giving them MY availability, telling them to figure it out between themselves and get back to me. But since I'm kind of the linchpin of a disparate friend group, it rarely happens.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • hideshow 10 child comments
    •
  • [–] 15 points 5 months ago* (5 children)

    My goodness, I have a friend who refuses (REFUSES) to give a bulk availability list, and instead just say "No" to everyone else's dates that don't match his. My bro, just give me a list of days for the love of socialism.

    • Me: I can do X, Y, Z, and AA

    • Friend1 : I got X, Z, AA, and maybe Y if we go early

    • Friend2: I got V, Y, N, %, and Left-Field

    • Friend3 : None of those work for me

    • Me: What does work for you?

    • Friend3: I dunno, what dates are you guys open to?

    • Me: WE JUST DID THAT

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 5 child comments
    •
  • [–] 7 points 5 months ago

    I mean, at that point, don't discuss it in text, but use a scheduling tool that forces people into a framework. If they refuse, they're just being a dick, but at that point, at least it's obvious they're fucking around.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • [–] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)
  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 9 points 5 months ago (3 children)

    There is an argument here for urbanism. Here in the states at least the "dream" is to move to a smaller suburb and live in a detached home. For me, it sounds horrible, being an hour away from your friends by car. I'll always be somewhere where I can bus/train/walk to other people.

    There's actually a good theory that that's why so many people look fondly back on college. It's not the university they're missing, but a walkable neighborhood.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 3 child comments
    •
  • [–] 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

    Well not every city has every industry so there's not much urbanism would do there. We all moved for work or to be closer to family.

    I think a better theory for the nostalgia is just proximity to friends. Not to mention the abundance of free time and lack of responsibility....the neighborhoods surely pale in comparison.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 2 child comments
    •
  • [–] 4 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Yeah this. So much free time, I lived with my best friend (he's now on the other side of the world), and I could visit all my other best friends easily. I live in a more walkable city now, but none of my friends from that time live here.

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent
  • hideshow 1 child comment
    •
  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago

    Yeah...my friend group was a lot bigger back then from proximity alone. We're all across the US now and a couple are overseas.

    I've made more friends since but as an adult, location doesn't dictate friendships so they were far to begin with

  • permalink
  • fedilink
  • source
  • parent