You have to find the right group. There's a fine line between competitive and 'need to win' drive. I can think of at least four large groups in my life that have broken apart specifically because there were some people in them that suddenly thought they could 'dominate' and everything shifted (in their view) to make that happen. Suddenly they don't want to play with certain people, they get mad about partners who didn't 'play as well as they should have,' etc. The fun disappeared and they dragged everyone else down with them.

I'd say the goal should be to have fun, and if you can't goof off in the middle of a game/match/whatever, you're too deep into the 'need to win' mindset.