Best time I ever had fucking with a UC was 20yrs ago. I managed a late night pizza/arcade/hole in the wall venue. The cops were constantly trying to bust us for serving underage (we never did). One night I got a text from a buddy who worked a bar up the street that they were on the prowl.

The cops use kids who’ve been cited for underage drinking as the bait in exchange for expungement, which is a shit trick. A guy and a gal that were clearly mid-teens came in, got in line, but their body language was off. The world’s most obvious pig followed a few seconds later, but instead of getting in line like a normal person, stood in a weird spot near the register.

I acted unaware, took their order, went to cash them out. They ordered beers. I asked for ID, they presented; 15 & 16. But having been through a sting before, I checked, and sure enough the cop was trying to covertly film the exchange as evidence in case I did serve.

So I asked the kids “you know that guy?”

Neither looked back, just nervously said “No.”

So I looked at him “these kids say they don’t know you.”

Now we all knew I knew and that he knew I knew, but he kept his straight face and shrugged it off “yeah, I don’t know them”

“Then why the fuck are you filming them ya fuckin’ creep.”

Then his mask slipped and I got the mother of all death glares. I told him to get the fuck out and never come back, called him a weirdo on the way out. The kids just stared and I finished selling them the pizza.

A few days later the owner called to tell me he’d gotten a call from the police department instructing him to tell me that treating an officer that way is harassment and unacceptable.

“Officer? What officer? Never saw a badge, just a pervert filming kids he didn’t know.”

Fuckin’ bastards.