I don't, I'm just waiting my death. After you study the basics about how brain works, neurology and psychology, things will start getting worse and worse.

One question I've is how actual neurologists scientists can live knowing we're just biological machines reacting to the environment.

It's all particles interacting inside our brain in a given pattern that will end up making you feel happy or sad, which makes you think life is meaningless even if you feel happy about it.

I've, let's say "chronic recurring depression" which I don't like to say it's a disorder, it's just my identity, it's just who I am, maybe I can feel better sometimes but aware that everything is pointless.

Man, even free will probably don't exist, determinism is way stronger theory than any other pro free will theory.

I used to say depression is the only lucid moment in one's life, because you gotta be real crazy to think any of this has any sense, that requires some very good mental gymnastic or some very high ignorance.

I wish suicide wasn't such a taboo, I wish assisted suicide were legal independent of your health condition or age. I just want to leave but I don't have the balls to do it.