“cook the onions on medium heat for a few minutes until they caramelise” statement made by someone completely delusional. “A few minutes”? A few minutes is what it took to create someone so blissfully unaware about onions, that years later he has the audacity to suggest that it takes “a few minutes” to caramelise onions. And that’s what you get in a few minutes. An unsatisfying, excuse of a final result.

Onions will make you question physics, reality and the space-time continuum. That’s how long it takes to caramelise them.