It starts talking about how illiterate Americans are, and then how the northern Americans, namely the Canadians, are better at it, but there's a twist, the northern americans actually live in ice castles and therefore cannot speak nor read, making the statistics terribly wrong because everyone knows how to read when there's nothing to read, and that Melania Trump does not exist because Jesus did not have a wife, so now people are replacing the No Kings Protest with the No Queens Protest by scribbling out the word Kings, but that ended up going terribly wrong because people are illiterate, making them scribble out the "test" in "Protest" leaving only the "Pro" there, making Apple users think it's a new product released by Sam Tucker, so they all flooded the Apple shops with people and furiously consumed their hard-earned money, but then Donald and Melenia are sad now because more people are going to the Apple store and Noone cares about them anymore, so Trump actually called Tim Apple pretending to be hanging out with him, but then in a sudden he punches Tim, and as we all know when Apples randomly fly around they end up on Newton's head, causing him to suddenly create gravity, and that's why we have a flat earth, it's because that the earth was actually originally a cube, but then gravity pulled it down making it flat. That's why we have homework.