I kept thinking about this, and it wasn't just that it's cynical. I don't know why I got hung up on that. I think I was stoned.

My real problem was, in fact, the use of the words "literally" and "ever". If you say, "There's literally no reason to ever...", that means 0 reasons. That does not leave room for exceptions. A then you immediately follow it up with an exception. 😑