yeah that's true. I date and I am always shocked at how people mislead themselves and are misled, by the labels they put on things, and a lot of it is basically just lying, either to others or to yourself. folks love to throw around meaningless and vague words in this weird game of social comparison and ranking and nobody is more invested in it than mediocre types of folks who are desperate to feel superior to others and usually have fragile egos.

regardless of labels, there are things that we do in the real world and words that describe those actions.

For some reason in modern life, increasingly, people are allergic to those real world actions being acknowledged as definitive of themselves, and seem to prefer defining themselves by elaborate distinctions and stories they create in their heads, that often bear no relevance or resemblance to the real world things they do. And one's internal identity struggles... often have little to do with the identity we bring out into the real world.