only ever used the beeps and vibration. All I need to do is pick up the remote and she will cower. Mind you, I shower this dog with love every day and again — I've never once hurt her besides maybe stepping on her tail.

Of course I don’t know you, internet stranger. All I have to go off of is what you’ve typed, which is the cycle of abuse. You love, you use fear to gain control, you go back to love. Your dog is in an inescapable situation, she obviously wants to love you, you don’t always use aversive methods to scare her into compliance, but you’re willing to. And you know it scares her, but you minimize the impact because “it doesn’t hurt” and “I give her love”.

Am I mistaken? Did you not say that you used a vibration and sound collar on her, that she’s now scared of a tv remote and the sound of crumpling paper? What’s the purpose of such a collar? Did you think startling her was a love language? Those things exist to spook a dog and get it to comply, not reward them for good behavior in a positive way.