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[–] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (8 children)

Usually I buy the 100 packs of generic black tea bags but I’m having some Earl Grey tea as a treat (from one of the little 10 packs).

I got a lift to Kmart for new earbuds and checked out the tubs… the different sizes don’t nest properly, the smaller one was too tall to allow the outer lid to go on. Even without insulating layers of straw adding to the height.

Maybe I’ll see what the big green shed offers, or if I can make something work with the miscellaneous tubs I have. Though they’re not black to hold in precious heat and aren’t uv resistant. Cutting them will be interesting because I have a mini hacksaw and Stanley knife but no blowtorch or drill. I just spotted a pair of fuzzy buns wandering past so he does not go home when it rains.

Otherwise I don’t know what else to do. I bought some books from the op shop but have been unable to concentrate on reading even though I used to be a big reader. Maybe I’ll go learn a random skill off youtube. idk.

spoilerThings got really bad recently, I’m being referred to grief counselling and am trying to stay busy but am dying inside. Everything reminds me of my deeply loved Melbcat and I’m swinging between regrets that I didn’t try harder to save her and regrets at making her hold on that long because I didn’t know the worst of it. And regrets that I didn’t do even more to make her happy and enriched in the time we had. I just want to hug her again.

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  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    I didn’t try harder to save her and regrets at making her hold on that long because I didn’t know the worst of it. And regrets that I didn’t do even more to make her happy and enriched in the time we had. I just want to hug her again.

    You really did the best you or anyone could Melba. Please don't second guess that.

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Even if you had done everything perfectly you would still have some manufactured regrets. Our minds cling to "if i'd just" because we're not allowed to howl at the void any more

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

    You’re right. I did what was best for her and will regret anyway

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  • [–] 4 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    You did your best and both of you still got your life together taken away. And that's shit. It's incredibly shit.

    You're allowed to be upset about that. You're allowed to be angry. But don't you ever feel guilty or regret putting up one hell of a fight.

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