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Anon is terminally lonely (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 7 months ago by to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 17 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Lonliness is a significant driver of depression in modern society. Finding community and relationships can absolutely help. In fact friends and partners are generally the first people we need to talk to about our feelings.

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  • [–] 10 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Honestly, having good friends is super important, especially friends that you can have fun with on a compatible level. I have had over half a decade with no friends that I could do anything fun with, More like situationfriendships. Luckily I now have a friend that I can have consistent fun with, and we both have never felt better. Fun is so important in life, especially with other people.

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  • [–] 6 points 7 months ago

    Its rare to find a friend who will try new things. Super great to just say, "lets do this thing!" and them to emphatically agree 😁 I used to have no choice but to do those things alone.

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  • [–] 2 points 7 months ago (1 child)

    So, how do I find them? I'm not in school and it's not like I live in a capital city. I also want to keep my privacy so online services asking for pictures and full names is a no go too. Finding friends online is hard too, since I don't use discord or the other mainstream apps. Not to mention my social and general anxiety.

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  • [–] 3 points 7 months ago

    I guess how I found my friend was really complicated and a bit of an adventure. But what I would do was go to a local casual sporting event (street dodgeball) in my city, albeit sketchy but cool. Didn't even have to talk. I also had really bad social anxiety. Being able to talk to homeless people on a regular basis for me made it a lot easier to talk to people who make 6 figures.

    I would say if you can find a card/tabletop game shop that you can hangout there for free would be a good place. In a place like that, a lot of people are in the same boat. Pushing through the entry barrier is the hardest part, and it does not always work out. But when it does work, then you can carry on from there. Also see if the shop has some events you can attend. (I'm also a paranoid person, to the point that I think the store music is trying to get me)

    Maybe also look for local sporting events. It doesn't even have to be super intense or clean or dirty.

    What helped my social anxiety is my friend said that muggers look for people who don't look people in the eye or have confidence or smile. So, when I walk by people, I look them in the eye and smile. So now instead of feeling powerless and a social outcast, now I get to see them as wrong and muggable. You will have to power through it first. And then you will eventually get a person smiling back, or even starting a conversation. You'll be suprised how different other people are and how they think of the world.

    Anyway, thank you for coming to my TedEx Talk!

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