Just to add: possible need to tap esc first, as your random flailing probably put you in insert mode, or something more exotic.

And only add w if you want to save the file. :q! If you don't

😳

:w = write; or overwrite if the file already exists.

Please don’t give blanket destructive advice.

also worth noting you open vim the first time, you get a huge ass splash screen telling you how to exit

:x is also an alternative to save and quit.

Equally valid for the facial expression you'd make upon finding that out.

There's also ZZ 👉😎👉 Same caveats apply, smash that fukken esc key (for bonus points rebind caps lock as esc) then ZZ Top your way out of that shit.

I'm going to stick with my current process of accidentally opening vim, typing semi-random things that feel like they should work for a minute and then eventually looking up how to quit on my phone.