Get the largest vacuum bag. Stuff a giant stuffed animal into it. Suck all the air out of it until it looks llike a midsized irregular object. Wrap it and give it to your 5 year old nephew, having Christmas at grandma's house (6 hour drive from home).

Bahahahahaha

To be fair, my brother-in-law started it by giving my kids the loudest most annoying shit possible. Vengeance is mine.