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[–] 34 points 8 months ago* (14 children)

Wow, is that an option? Here I am just working on myself to become a more interesting, well-rounded person, like a dumbass.

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  • [–] 39 points 8 months ago (9 children)

    There are basically two paths to romantic success:

    1. Make yourself into a generally attractive person
    2. Find a weirdo that likes you as you are

    Path 1 requires way more personal work, but it's easier to find someone because you're compatible with more people. Path 2 requires way more effort searching for the perfect match, because they're out there but a lot rarer and harder to find.

    Personally, I say split the difference and take the middle path: work on yourself enough to find a mid-tier weirdo.

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  • [–] 9 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    Path 2 requires way more effort searching for the perfect match, because they’re out there but a lot rarer and harder to find.

    My god I'm so glad I met my husband back in the days when online dating hadn't been completely enshittified. (Or so I've heard, haven't used online dating sites in the last decade.) We met on okcupid in 2014. Their personality and interest quizzes were actually pretty good if you engaged with them honestly. My husband and I were a 99% match. And yeah...I found my weirdo. <3

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  • [–] 4 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    My weirdo and I found each other and then started working on being more rounded people, I think we got really lucky we made it through the first few years and got to where we are now, 12 years on.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago (2 children)

    1 is of you want to sleep/date around, 2 is if you want to find a husband/wife, no?

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  • [–] 3 points 8 months ago

    Either works for either, really. I've masked my weirdness enough to have moderate luck in the short term on path 1, I've had luck scouring for real weirdos on path 2. Both take effort.

    For a long term spouse, I still think the middle path is best. I wouldn't have been happy long term with the normies on path 1, and the certified freaks on path 2 wouldn't have been healthy long term either. You wanna hit that sweet spot where you roughly have your shit together, but you're not dulling your shine much.

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  • [–] 3 points 8 months ago

    1 is for all relationships, romantic and not. Being a better (or even just more well-rounded) person supports all areas, since you can make more connections, and better maintain them in all situations. 2 can be a way to build a really strong connection, but one or two shared interests, and a good personality match does not a relationship make - especially as people and situations change.

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