What makes this Not The Onion to me is how normalized this story is. How did things get to this point? Would she be happy with a job that only had a 2.5 hour commute each way!? Maybe, and that is what makes it existentially funny to me.

For example, an increase in the commuting time for the average respondent by only 15 min would have to be compensated by a net wage increase of almost 12%.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0927537124001271

The analysis relies on data from the Census Bureau and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. By determining the average time people spend commuting in metro areas and the average hourly wage in those areas, the analysis calculates the dollar value of a worker's commuting time over a year.

https://www.investopedia.com/commuting-to-work-costs-employees-thousands-of-dollars-worth-of-lost-working-time-11905701