676
eggshells all the way down (lemmy.ca)
submitted 8 months ago by to c/me_irl@lemmy.world
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[–] 8 points 8 months ago (7 children)

They're not calling those specific things abuse, but if you've lived in an emotionally abusive home they're highly recognisable moments. It sounds like you're coming at this from a slightly too literal frame of mind.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago (6 children)

    maybe? but I am just reading the post.

    I mean even if the start had been explicit about abusive parents I would have been OK with the post... but even the wording "a household where someone's mood shifts the atmosphere" come on!...

    Anecdote time:

    I love music and it is rare I am not playing some music when I am at home. When I have been out of town, my kids (grown already) had said the house felt sad because there was no music playing.

    Similarly, when our cat of 20 years died, my mood was not very lively and I did not feel like listening to music... ergo, the house was indeed sadder than normal.

    This anecdote fits the post to a T... yes I am taking it literally but there are LOTS of ways this could have been written more clearly and not cast a hurried mom (slamming cabinets) or a worried dad (quieter then usual at dinner) as abusive.

    Finally, to clarify, this concerns me because TONS of kids read this stuff and swallow it entirely.

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  • [–] 3 points 8 months ago (3 children)

    Now flip those emotions. Instead of them feeling sad when there is no music playing, they feel happy because music means you're not home.

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago (2 children)

    why? we get along, we love each other

    Again (not sure why this is hard) I UNDERSTAND what the post was going for, I am just complaining it is very poorly written.

    If instead of starting with the vague "someone's mood shifts the atmosphere" (which is complete bullshit and can indeed be a completely benign thing) it had started with "an emotionally abusive household" I think the message would have come across a lot more clear. The way it's currently written would certainly cast loving parents in a healthy home as abusive

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  • [–] 1 point 8 months ago (1 child)

    The post is wirrten by someone who has experienced this and is understood by those who do. For anyone who has grown up in this sort of abusive situation will immediately recognize what it's saying.

    Are you aware of what walking on eggshells actually means? I realize it's been watered down much like the term gaslighting and calling people narcissists but to those whoever have experienced the trauma can feel those words.

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  • [–] 2 points 8 months ago

    The post is wirrten by someone who has experienced this and is understood by those who do. For anyone who has grown up in this sort of abusive situation will immediately recognize what it’s saying.

    And this is why I care… not everyone is super stable/smart/objective/capable of self reflection… this is the irresponsible shit going online that pushes those people the wrong way

    This is not an "abusive household" community, the context is not implied

    Are you aware of what walking on eggshells actually means?

    Yes, and for the umpteenth time, I understood the post. I am just complaining about how poorly written it is... which in my opinion, could be dangerous for some people

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  • [–] 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 child)

    You're fine, I know how weirdly kids can misconstrue things.

    Edit: I want to add that I had no part in the down votes ITT, I'm just trying to bridge the disconnect that we seemed to have. A lot of people are understandably upset though, it's a touchy subject!

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  • [–] 2 points 8 months ago

    No worries (I rarely even noticed up or down votes)

    I am actually surprised how many people just won't read. I have said like 8 times I understood the post, I just find it poorly written and worry vulnerable people may misrepresent it, just to have a million people explaining the post to me.

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