I say this a lot but the conservative worldview really boils down to "my group is good and yours is bad". That's it. Thus when a conservative does something, it's cool, because they're good. When someone else does the same thing, it's bad because they are bad.

You can't argue with this. It's like if you're making a math proof and someone tells you it's wrong because you're wearing a green shirt. The color of your shirt has nothing to do with this geometry. The hypocrisy has nothing to do with their value system.