The simple answer is that capitalist "democracy" is "democracy" controlled by capitalists. Capitalists control production and distribution, pick what parties can run, run the mass media and bribe officials. Socialist democracy exists in the context of worker control. You view democracy as existing outside of this context, usable by anyone for any aim, which is why you're running into the same mistake. Revolution means overthrowing the system with force, see what the bolsheviks did in Russia for an example.
I have no idea where your condescension comes from, if you can't acknowledge the role capital plays in the state then you'll forever be confused.