Oh jeez that sounds like the worst luck you could have ever gotten. When I was younger / underage I always steered away or handled direct DMs with older strangers with some cautions (I'm in my mid 20's now), but it's understandable especially when a lot of these servers have a "friend-finder" channel where people can display their openness to get some friends.

I can give you my link to the VR server I'm in, however I don't want to coencerce you into if you feel trauma or distress, but I think trying to meet online people in groups should be safer than someone in private, however that might be hard initially if you are really anxious like I am. We believe in you tho!