I want them to stop yapping fake platitudes and just give me the answer straight with no conversational fluff.

This has probably been said a lot, but partly I think is the tech techbros want to make HAL, Jarvis, any other fictional AI with personality.

I feel like it started doing so not too long ago. The first couple times it worked on me and was kinda proud I asked a clever question. But eventually I noticed, it does it no matter what I ask, and I felt so foolish.

Gotta hit LLMs with utterly unbiased questions, and that's hard for most. I get pretty solid results, but still, gotta look into the reply, not take it at face value. And the further you pursue a certain tack, the less valuable the output.

give me a model that responds "it's an octagon dipshit, sesame street taught you this"

I know of people who (proudly) post screenshots of GPT calling them insightful, as if the matrix multiplier didn't already tell everyone that