I am a productivity machine!!!
And any downtime can feel like wasted time, and dopamine is king and slave driver giving seemingly kind rewards.
But burn out is no fun.
(To be clear, that's "no fun". Not merely "not fun". ~ As in it sucks all the fun out of all the rest of life too.)
A big deep long dive into burn out is a hard lesson to bear... But it has helped me reframe time dedicated to rest and recuperation as its own kind of productivity, eliminating any self (or socially or societally) imposed sense of guilt or shame for not being maximally productive.
what I should be capable of doing
Stress is a killer.
Stress is expectation's child.
Much less of that the more we learn to stop "shoulding" on ourselves. :)