It's not sweeping sexism, it's just toxic masculinity that's the problem.

Feminism is the solution to most problems with men. Men are the ones rejecting the solution without even considering it. So who is sexist here?

Nobody is faulting men for their gender. They are being accused of protecting the bad actors by acting like 'no there is not a problem, I'm the good one'.

By staying oblivious in face of the facts, and not owning up to it and saying 'those stats are fucked up, we need to do better', you are part of the problem.

If I offered you some candy from a big bowl of Skittles and told you that only a handful were poisoned, would you eat one?

One bad apple spoils the bunch etc.

The man/bear thing seems stupid to me - but that's probably just because I've missed the point of it.

It's with a random man. You're not a random man, you're you. If a random man isn't safe, that doesn't mean anything about you. You're not Spiders Georg.

That's why it looks like solidarity when you defend the random man.

trans masc choices to be men

Isn't "choice" generally regarded as a problematic and incorrect term to use?