i used to be part of a forum where i was super controversial, then people would meet me irl, confront me about how evil i was... and then end up agreeing with me when i restated my opinions with a face and a voice and a tone.
This.
I'm a pedantic asshole online, but I also like to help when I can. ...but I'm still a pedant, even if I'm more generous.
I fully expect anything I say to be thrown back at me while AFK and out somewhere, and I fully believe as I write it that I can defend or support my opinions the same; just with less reference material because you can't Google search in the middle of a lively debate.
It's easy for our attempts to help others to start to wax flippant, or be taken with suspect motives; that's normal for written-only comms and repeat nudges. It's okay. I hope the day when someone says "hey asshole" I'll be at my more rested and calm, and I can represent myself well.
Worst case is I appear in the real like I appear online, and I can accept that.