1. You love giving your data away
2. You enjoy being tracked by your operating system
3. You’re happy when your computer tells you “no”
4. You prefer someone else deciding what you can run
5. You feel uncomfortable if you get to have options
6. You’d rather battle corporate tech support
7. You’d rather rent your software than own it
8. You think ads belong on your desktop
9. You love being lied to about what’s “industry standard”
10. You like rebooting for every little update
11. You’re uncomfortable when software is transparent
12. You think community-made tools can’t be “professional”
13. You want intrusive AI everywhere, whether it helps or not
14. You think the command line is only for hackers
15. You never really wanted your computer to be yours anyway