Why are people obsessed with using the dog to get money or women or whatever? It's a talking fucking dog!! That's a cool ass pet I wanna chill with my cool talking dog.

Nobody would believe it. They'd accuse you of faking it a la Milli Vanilli. You have a talking dog, a literal miracle, and yet people would mock and criticize. Depressed, you'd turn to alcohol. The good shit, sure--that dog made you a little money, after all--but paying more for your poison only makes it drain all of your resources that much faster. You're a husk of your former self.

But you've still got your dog who still loves you unconditionally, against all odds. :)

How do you know she isn't mistranslating your messages to the dog to make it think she's on its side? You've got an awful lot of trust...

Is this a reference to something I don't get? Because I dunno how talking dog is some monkeys paw cursed blessing just because it speaks Cantonese. I don't speak Cantonese, but, like 80 million other people do. So I could learn.