Nah I'm fine now, this was all over a decade ago.

I think if anything being humbled by some random website that showed that suicide wasn't a good idea not because it's wrong to die or some sentimental bullshit about being loved or whatever, which no one can really tell you as they don't know and for all they know it could absolutely be true that you're unloved and unneeded, but because statistically I'd fuck it up and be in pure agony for minutes with most methods - actually prepared me for how harsh life could be quite well.