Being the sperm donor isn’t what makes you a father. Spending time with your kid, teaching them how to be a functional human in the modern world over decades is what makes you a father

As a stepdad myself, I can personally attest to that fact. I met my boys when they were little, at only 4 years old and 5 months old. For all intents and purposes, they are my boys.

Their own bio dad is hardly present and only does the bare minimum when it's his parenting time. It's hard. Bio dad got remarried (briefly), but my wife and I ended up having to break the news to the boys that their new stepmom and stepbrothers were going away (because bio dad is a piece of shit and screamed at his new wife over the fact that there were mushrooms in his food). I watched my son's heart get ripped in half; all I could do was hold him as he sobbed into my arms.

But, also, it could mean that the mom knew, and lied to son and dad, for son's whole life, and most of mom and dad's relationship.

If you know you're a stepdad, that's entirely different than not knowing you are actually a step dad.

Of course, this particular case doesn't have much details, so this is a basically a hypothetical... but tons of guys feel betrayed when they learn their wife/gf has been lying to them, had been cheating on them, etc.

Sure, it could be that this older guy was going off of 'I have failed to reproduce my genetic line' logic, but I'd bet the actual emotions he felt were massive betrayal from the mom, like she'd been tricking him for half his life, probably felt like he betrayed and failed his son by not being honest with his son, despite that not being his fault.

Of course, offing yourself does not make you a better father, but uh, exceptionally emotionally devastated people do sometimes make rash, permanent, illogical decisions.

It's people like you and some below that give me faith in human beings, still. Thank you!