DreamAccountant comments on Always happy to help out

[–] DreamAccountant@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago* (3 children)

It's on the person explaining the problem to say whether or not they're looking for a solution, or just for someone to vent to. Because some people really do just want options for solutions, and some people really just want to vent.

Don't expect people you come to with problems to be able to read your mind. Don't be upset when they can't. Accusing someone of being hostile for attempting to help with a problem you brought to them is just being an asshole.

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[–] DaGeek247@fedia.io [S] 11 points 1 year ago

It's on the person explaining the problem to say whether or not they're looking for a solution, or just for someone to vent to.

In a just world, you would be right. Unfortunately, the way that most people communicate this intent is varrying levels of opaque for us, so we have to do what we can with what we have.

You can choose to try and communicate, or you can get mad when you guess wrong because the other person wasn't explicit enough.

I've found that choosing to communicate (massive_bereavement's "what can I do to help?" is a great option.) is usually the best way to handle this situation.

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[–] tlmcleod@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 year ago (1 child)

It takes half a second to ask them what type of conversation they're trying to have. Conversations are a two (or more) way thing. All participants must participate

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[–] Mesophar@pawb.social 3 points 1 year ago

I agree, because I've learned that is the best way to handle these situations, but it goes both ways. It also only takes a half a second for them to say "I'm just venting", or "I don't need a solution, I just need someone to listen".

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