the shamer who gets to feel morally superior
Why do you think the rejection of a supremacist is inherently a supremacist act? I don't feel superior to them, I feel deep all consuming sadness that society can produce a person like that. I feel angry that they're here trying to spread their insanity. And I feel tired, so so tired. But I don't feel superior to them. Justified for my anger? Sure. But that isn't superiority.
You really like Daryl Davis, as do I: he's done amazing work. But have you engaged with his writings, or what he feels about this issue? He doesn't ascribe to your absolutism - he supports the broad work in combating rhetorical hatred just as I will absolutely support you in a bid to engage directly and de-radicalize those people. It's important you realize that if the existence of a sympathetic ear could be undone by broad cultural opposition, Daryl Davis would never have been able to make a difference.
I can respect the ideals you claim, but I cannot respect their misapplication not least because the originator of your ideals doesn't. I've made no claims of superiority, even refusing to feed into their obvious self-loathing and encouraging them on being more authentic in the expression of their ideas regardless of their content, but you have claimed I intrinsically have*.
I have to ask, are you projecting? Do you feel your ideology is superior to mine, here, now? Because if you do, that truly needs examination. And if you don't, you should examine why you're deflecting from face-value criticism of your actions with claims of their own inherent moral superiority.
^edit:^ ^clarity^