Political issues, censorship of entertainment (VPN is unreliable)... I'm just too used to western media, food safety issues, air pollution (I noticed the air is less polluted when I arrived in the US I noticed more trees too),

Kinda still have PTSD from when I had a fight with my older brother and he kinda chased me around in the apartment unit, so I ran away, I was scared, it was one of my first Adverse Childhood Experiences, nobody intevened.

I also said too much pro-HK and pro-Taiwan stuff, I don't feel comfortable entering their jurisdiction (even if they might not do anything, its still uncomfortable).

This is a country that have denied giving legal documentation to me, because my parents gave birth to me without government permission (One Child Policy, I'm the 2nd Child). They forced my family to pay a large amount of money, a "fine" they call it, so I can legally exist in the system. Remember, without ID, you can't travel long distance or get a job. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heihaizi ; they've now changed the policy) They rejected my existence because it contradicts their policy. I resent the PRC government for doing that shit. That's what PRC does, hide "problems" they don't like, problems like my existence.

And I think the discrepancy between the my level of excitement (the lack of excitement, that is) compared to a White Westerner, when it come to China, is because to a White Westerner, everything seems like a new experience, for me, its just reviving old, tramatic memories, an entire society that revolves around Filial Piety and this Filial Piety is used to justify child abuse. A parent can hit their child on the street and cops will let it happen, nobody will ever intervene. (Not saying that my parent ever did that in public, but they could've) That's what the society is. ultra-conservative, patriarchal, misogynistic (I'm a dude, but still, I don't like seeing that stuff), toxic masculinity. If you live a life without getting married and have children, you're seen as a failure.

To be fair, ultra-conservatism and filial piety is not unique to Mainland China, but that combined with politics, censorship, and pollution, safety (remember, censorship can hide those problems), and childhood traumas, makes it a unattrative place to live.

It might be fun for you, but wouldn't be fun for me.