not American no. I've gone the therapy route, that was expensive af even with coverage and made things worse sadly.
I like caring for others, there just isn't others in my life. I could cancel my phone and nobody would know. haven't had a guest over in easily over 3 years. covid really fucked me up and I've never recovered. still isolated.
I'm not going to do anything to myself, the thoughts are always there. life's just super lonely and really getting to me.