You forgot the third kind, A sentient sprite can who is an ontological reality restructuring supergod AI hybrid which can destroy the multi verse if its tab is ever cracked, whos containment requires no less than 5 time paradoxes, a trip to the noosphere with reality warping stabilizers, an obligitory doctor Bright or Nobody shout out, 45 minutes of real time reading a mid tales-from story, 15 new psudoscientific jargon words, and 3 rereadings to even begin to understand the story.

I prefer the coke can with lemon lime.