highkey tired of people who only like me platonically getting with me because it's only them who try to date me, then they realize they don't like me or didn't like me all along and just played with me because they didn't want to feel bad
can't help but be upset and i do not wanna see my ex at all, but she's such a nice person
These are some awful feelings with which to grapple. The need to be appreciated, cherished, and nurtured is why we enter into relationships.
There is opportunity for you here to find people who fulfill your companionship needs. However, the corollary is: out of all your past relationship failures, the common thread is you. There is something in your interpersonal template that attracts you to people who treat you badly, attracts such people to you, or some combination thereof.
I hope you can find healing, growth, and the companionship you crave.