You don't actually spoon the whole way, just up to the waist, leaving a bit of a gap between your chest and partner's shoulders.

Upper arm goes round partner as normal, lower arm rests elbow on mattress, forearm vertical across their back, hand holds their upper shoulder.

Plenty of contact still, but your arm doesn't die, you don't get their hair tickling your face all night and you get to use your own pillow.