At the age of 34, being extremely socially reclusive, and being autistic myself, I don't really think I have any chance of getting a relationship. I also have issues with staying attached to neurotypical/non-autistic people, people that drink alcohol regularly (I was raised by an alcoholic grandmother, you probably can put the two together), also I'm disabled in other ways too, etc.

A lot of people often like to say "ace/aro/demi people just too disappointed/have too high standards". Here I am being so disappointed and probably having way too high standards, yet I still vow for a romantic relationship, and thus often feel lonely from it.