Maybe they put a booger under their bed or something 😄

But I understand your worry.

I will, but likely they won't remember the exchange.

haha i reckon theyre just scenario diving in their own mind... ask them tomorow what they were meaning.

For their age, absolutely!

Expert trolling?

I agree with your overall point about bullying, but you have to consider childhood development and the differing reasons that children at different ages resort to violence in the first place. At 5, the cause of the violence is more likely to be emotional deregulation and lack of impulse control - that doesn’t mean it should be allowed to continue, but there are realistic options for how to shut it down that don’t exist in the same way as with older kids.

I previously mentioned that that's not working. Or if it's "going to take time" , the kid is getting punched on the regular until then.

Yes, kids should learn to seek nonviolent solutions. They should also be taught not to allow other people to abuse them. Stopping or preventing such abuse may well require the judicious use of violence or the legitimate threat of it.

If they were 12 you might have a point, but at 5 kids are still malleable enough that teaching nonviolent conflict resolution is realistic and can have lasting impact

You know what? that's fair.

I entirely missed that comment, my bad.

I don't think idealism against the idea of violence is the answer, given..you know....people, but i'm all for not making it the first port of call.

I didn’t make gender a variable, the parent comment that I replied to did.

Kindergarteners shouldn’t be taught to hit back.

Unless you're suggesting teaching kindergarten girls to hit boys will repair their self esteem or pride, im not sure why it's necessary to make gender a variable here.

Very good point!

I am late to the party, but an item I haven’t seen is: prepare the kid.

We have flown a bunch of times with our kids. The days before departure, there are “drills”: lengthy explanations of what will happen, getting the kid curious, answering their questions, reading stories of kids traveling. It means that, once we get there, the bulk of the experience is not fully unexpected, so the kid doesn’t freak out.

We never had massive tantrums while traveling, only standard hungry/tired cries we usually managed in a couple of minutes, with any bribe that would work.

Very normal for kids around 2-5 to explore genitals. Mine had a period he would strip to show he had a penis 🤦‍♀️ obviously we talked about it, but he was just excited to show off his discovery! After a couple of weeks the novelty wore off and he stopped.

You can talk to the principal and ask to have your kid moved to a different class.

This is the way.

This bully is too young to realize they're a bully, they're just copying whatever happens at home: which means the parents probably won't do shit.

Showing (modeling) this child how to deal with conflict respectfully and peacefully will help both your child and the bully. It's exactly what the staff should be doing and perhaps they would in a less litigious society.

You'll also likely find in the contract or terms of service for the provider that sustained bullying behaviour is grounds for termination of the placement which might be useful to point out to the director: you're not upholding your end of the contract. It's less dire than "I'll call my lawyer" but just close enough it might motive them.

Have you tried beating up the bullies father, maybe paying an older child to bully the bully?

Or I guess you could talk to the bullies parent directly. Maybe ask them over to observe the childrens behavior, maybe try and "force" them to be friends?

I would press them for more intervention. Separate the kids when they're playing, watching them more closely, time outs for the instigator. Make it clear this is unacceptable moving forward and that it is impacting your son's ability to participate at school.

This is pretty smart. I might try this

They say they are talking to the bully's parents and monitoring the situation

Martial arts taught me how to block my abusers' strikes, and it teaches to manage the body's stress response and channel it into action - even if that action is "I have the power to not punch first"

Shrugging it off is a good option if you can pull it off. If the child is used to getting a reaction, you should expect the behavior to escalate before petering out, though. This is true whenever you try to extinguish bad behavior that way.

So I used to bully a kid in kindergarten. I don't remember what I was doing at all or the kid even, but I do remember his dad confronting me in front of everyone.

He didn't do anything mean, never raised his voice, all he did was calmly and repeatedly ask me why I was doing it and how it wasn't nice and all that. Just a straight talking to. I never bullied anyone after that.

Kids are scared shitless of adults they don't know, you don't even have to scold them or be mean or anything.

That being said, how the school is handling it is the bigger problem here.

How big is the group? Kids that age are usually not that anxious about nudity, but a few are, and it would surprise me if this is the first time they've had children like that. I'm used to there being booths or separate toilets for kids above the age of three.

"Wait two minutes" is often not practical - although a decently staffed preschool would be able to figure something out if they see a child needs privacy (maye the child was too shy or shocked to say, though). Ideally, there would be a separate toilet without a diaper changing station, so the kids can pick that if they want privacy.