My favorite of the genre. Vintage Unknown.

It makes me sick to think about how these people who slip through and talk to the press are just the tip of the iceberg. How many people have just disappeared without a trace? Are they in concentration camps, labor camps, death camps? I don't know if we'll ever have a complete picture of what's happening, but what we already know is heartbreaking. Fuck this.

the lettering on this is exceptionally good.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ de gustibus, non erat disputandem

you misunderstand. a Skeloton is a spooky stationary bike that steals your data, but it's very expensive. You could buy a knockoff skelaton, but it's more economical, privacy-protecting, and environmentally friendly to just use a dead body you already have lying around.

They're comfy and I like them.

Sir Mix-a-Lot (unrelated) is a traveling potion salesman who shows up for my party at suspiciously specific times, and generally has discounted potions specifically tailored for whatever they happen to be doing at the time. For example, if they need to be really strong, he'll have a bottle of Sir Flex-a-Lot's Magical Muscle Maximizer, which does increase the strength of one's muscles, but not of their bones or connective tissue (it was designed to be used only in bodybuilding competitions), so whenever the drinker does a STR check, they must also make a CON saving throw to avoid breaking a bone or tendon. Need to decipher an ancient text? Try Sir Scripts-a-Lot's Polyglottal-in-a-bottle, which will let you read unknown languages, but also comprehend all unknown languages, even those of the plants and animals around you, making it very difficult to concentrate on any one thing. (inspired by https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/springtime)

They're both functioning as routers at the moment, the topology is:

internet fiber cable <---> ISP Router <---> OpenWRT Router <---> (ideally VPN'd) client devices

Both routers are handling DHCP on their own LANs, and if the OpenVPN service is stopped, clients connected to the OpenWRT router can connect to the internet without any apparent issue.

I don't think so, I'm not trying to do port forwarding or anything like that, I just want the secondary router to be treated like a regular client by the ISP router (that only sends traffic to the VPN). Thanks for the rec though, if I can't get the native client working I'll give Gluetun a shot.

EDIT: I added some rules for UDP ports 1194 and 5060 to the ISP router just in case there was some back traffic that wasn't getting back to the client, restarted the server and same result, Host Unreachable :(

It came with the ovpn config file I got from Proton, and I can reach it when the openvpn service is down. Not sure why I can't hit it (or anything else) with the service up but I think there's something wrong with how the service is capturing traffic from the wan interface. Not really sure but that's where my head is at ATM.

They ran the numbers, it's actually cheaper to replace any equipment that gets damaged or killed.

Thank you for signing up for Generational Wealth! Your drive and motivation to get rich at all costs has granted you access to access to all of our premium features, including:

• Bastardry+: This feature allows you to disable* the empathetic parts of your brain, enabling you to profit from the toil of others! Why work hard when others can work hard for you?
• Points for your Points Program: Exchange your WealthCoins** ($USD (or any participating alt WealthCoin)) with other Generational Wealth members and earn bonus “Interest” WealthCoins deposited straight into your account! The more you share, the higher the rewards! It’s an infinite spiral of success!
• Spoil yourself: Trade your WealthCoins for collectible "experiences" that temporarily dull the gnawing ache of your disabled* human instincts! Options include: fancy alchohols, fancy drugs, forced humiliation and degradation of nonsubscribers, crimes against humanity, going to space, and more! each experience you unlock can soothe your broken soul for up to 5 business days! Hello Vacation!
• Premium Protection: feeling the sting of nonsubscribers benefiting from your hard-earned WealthCoins through taxation? For a fee of just a few WealthCoins per year, we provide WealthGuard+, a comprehensive, customized wealth protection program that ensures your WealthCoins stay yours, forever. Get access to hundreds of nerds who will magically move your WealthCoins beyond the reach of anyone, through tax shelters, shell corporations, loopholes, and a myriad of other dorky mechanisms that you don't ever have to think about! They'll work hard for you!
• Generational Trauma Platinum: Just in case we don't discover the secrets to immortality in the next few decades, Generational Wealth provides Generational Trauma Platinum at no extra cost*** to ensure that your idiot children won't destroy the only valuable thing you ever created. With a strict regimen of arbitrary discipline combined with our trademarked Scion of the Fortune ego adjustments, you offspring will be whipped into shape and ready to steer the ship when you finally kick the bucket (if you ever do!).

* Generational Wealth has been shown to partially anesthetize the empathy response in clinical trials but Generational Wealth does not guarantee that it will be disabled completely. Side effects of Generational Wealth may include dizziness, vomiting, feelings of euphoria, depression, mania, substance abuse, domestic abuse, regional abuse, international abuse, lightheadedness, bigheadedness, confusion, insomnia, visitation by ghosts, paranoia, and difficulty urinating. Do not drive while using Generational Wealth.
** Generational Wealth is intended to be used only by those who already have moderate to severe hoards of WealthCoins. Consult your CPA to see if Generational Wealth is right for you. If you do not have a CPA, Generational Wealth may not be for you
*** Generational Trauma Platinum has no required WealthCoin fees associated with use of the service, but we hereby indemnify ourselves and you against any adverse affects of *Generational Trauma Platinum*. Some children just react negatively to Generational Wealth. You can't help how they turned out, you sent them to the best schools and gave them the best servants to abuse and even let them run around Europe for a year spending God only knows how many WealthCoins. It was probably your wife's fault they turned out that way.