Give me feedback you cowards!

I wrote this in 60 minutes so there must be something you can remark upon.

Halt!

This is an attention robbery! You'll read my poetry till finality or, it'll cost you your dignity! Now give me every dime of y'r time!

Don't be bored, no need to fear, I'm not like the real robbers here. They, don't respect their spoils like me! I actually savor your time you see.

No, I have a spine so I rob with rhyme. They would trap you in their web Stab you with subscriptions And ad-insult to y'r injury.

Now hand over that feedback wallet, and be on your way, wanderer Steer clear of the algorithm wood. Those robbers are up to no good.

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[–] 3 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Is there a type in the second stanza, last line?

savor you time

Instead of

savor your time

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Now that I have you here. What do you think of the third stanza? I think it's the weakest, but I also like it the most.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Nice.

    One small thing, you're actually not writing prose, you're writing in verse. Prose is all normal, everyday writing. Most books, newspapers, journals, letters, emails, txt msgs etc etc are written in prose. Anything with a structure, though, like poetry or a song is written in verse, which is more structured and stylized than prose.

    So, you're asking us to read your verse/poetry/rap/whatever and not your prose.

    Other than that, I liked it.

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

    Ah yeah I see, I was under the impression that the set of prose included poetry, but it explicit excludes rhyme and metre. Thanks for the clarification. Glad that you liked it!

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  • [–] 2 points 5 months ago (1 child)

    Really enjoy this. No notes, here. I like the personality of it.

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