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[–] 57 points 7 months ago (1 child)

Listen I'm old, those cheeks are getting clapped at 3pm.

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  • [–] 52 points 7 months ago (6 children)

    Me, Married, 40, and with two young kids:

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  • [–] 41 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    You gotta book it a week in advance.

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  • [+] 15 points 7 months ago (2 children)
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    [–] 24 points 7 months ago (5 children)
  • [–] 19 points 7 months ago (4 children)

    Workplace sex even better. Why poop on company time when you can have sex on company time.

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  • [–] 11 points 7 months ago (3 children)

    Just make sure no ones a snitch first, cause HR usually frowns on that. And sometimes the law too

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  • [–] 32 points 7 months ago

    I haven't had that kind of stamina since I was 20.

    Hit me up around 9pm so I can smoothly transistion from after sex cuddling and pillow talk to snoring in your ear and drooling on the pillow. Don't ever say I don't know how to treat a lady right.

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  • [–] 15 points 7 months ago

    Years ago :

    Coworker : Sorry for coming to this standup late, I got waylaid
    me : Yeah, I got way laid last night too

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  • [–] 8 points 7 months ago
    [–] 11 points 7 months ago

    I have chronic insomnia. Four hours of sleep seems almost like licentious indulgence.

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