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Me_irl (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
submitted 11 months ago by to c/nonbinary@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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[–] 31 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Part of not specifying at work is also because I’m curious what I’m perceived to be. I don’t get those data points if I go giving any hints out.

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    • [+] 23 points 11 months ago* (3 children)
    [deleted]
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  • [–] 23 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    I know it's common practice for everyone to list their pronouns, out of solidarity and to normalize the practice, but a part of me can't help but wonder if that doesn't cause that part of the UI to be super easy to tune out, as it's "useless" information most of the time. If any UI element shows exactly what someone is expecting 95% of the time, what would cause them to pay more attention and notice when it doesn't? It's not like we have settings to make it flash or change its colour right now.

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  • [–] 6 points 11 months ago

    I've listed my pronouns under my name in my email signature, and that has cut down significantly on the number of people misgendering based on my first name. It's not an obscure name at all, but the female version is way more popular and there only a very small letter separating the two versions, so a lot of people hallucinate it.

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    • [–] 11 points 11 months ago

    Work is the great equalizer, the tedious dance we endure.

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    [–] 22 points 11 months ago (6 children)

    It's so odd to me to think of genders, but non-bianry people makes a lot of sense to me. I don't see the need to constantly go through out my day worrying that my appearance or behavior doesn't align with some stereotype, and he/she/they are just words to me. Both trans and cis feel the need to constantly reaffirm their gender. Like a deep insecurity that they won't be treated they way they'd like, but I really don't think alpha males or whatever will grant you what you want. The real change is choosing to be who you want, not the label itself.

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  • [–] 23 points 11 months ago*

    I wouldn't generalize trans (or cis) people like that. I'm trans, but feel no pressure to conform, I chose to be the unique person that I am. That person happens to dress and look feminine, and enjoy some things that are stereotypically feminine. She also enjoys plenty of things that are very much the opposite. I am absolutely choosing to be who I am and who I want to be, and that person happens to align with many cultural norms. Every other trans person I know is similar. I've run into people saying things similar to your comment, with varied levels of severity, all relying on the same essential misunderstanding.

    Some people whose gender doesn't align to any societal stereotype seem to believe that this is because of some enlightenment they have found, and that anyone that conforms to those gender norms must be insecure or brainwashed. What they fail to realise is that their gender just happens to not conform, and that for many people their truest self just does align with the societal norms to some degree. Those norms did not arise from a vacuum. To a large degree, they're "just" a social construct, but social constructs reflect an average of the realities that society experiences, shaped through a lens of social pressure, class, culture, and other filters.

    I highly recommend you read "Who's Afraid of Gender" by Judith Butler. It's a great look at what gender really means, why people present the way they do, and what "performative gender" really means. All gender is performative, fundamentally. This is not to say that it's obsolete or inferior, but simply the nature of gender itself.

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  • [–] 2 points 11 months ago (2 children)

    On that topic a lot of languages don't even have gendered pronouns. In Turkish he/she/it is just "o" as example.

    It makes sense too. Imagine how weird it would be to have "heightened pronouns" after how tall you are or "colored pronouns" after your skin color.

    It's just not necessary.

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    [–] 6 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    Is this not just part of being on the rainbow at this point?

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    • [–] 5 points 11 months ago

    A shade in my employer's waking dream. I conduct myself invisibly. A fan of reprimand and the new man in the room. I'm queer in a way that works for you. Baths - Human Bog

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    [–] 5 points 11 months ago

    Not guy as in he/him but dude as in whatever.

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    [–] 4 points 11 months ago (1 child)

    A comment is a meme now?

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