"Everything printed by Tabloid is automatically capitalized, and an exclamation point is added. Why would you want anything else?"

Finally an opinionated programming language with the right priorities.

Seems like BASIC but with different keywords :D

I like this part of the readme:

How to use

Please don't.

This is SHOCKING!!! Job well done 😂

Would be nice to end a loop prematurely with BREAKING

So the first 4 fibonacci numbers are 1, 2, 6 and 120? SHOCKING!

I prefer Rockstar, personally.

That way I can say I'm a Rockstar programmer.

Is it only me or is the same old joke-esolang thing getting boring? They all read exactly the same, just with the keywords replaced by some other random string.

No, this doesn't read like tabloid headlines. It uses similar words, but nobody would mistake it for tabloid headlines. Same as the other esolang doesn't read like Shakespeare.

Maybe I am also just getting old and thus I've heard this joke too many times.